Jokes+Quotes+Puns

 What's the difference between Chemistry and cooking? In Chemistry, you should never lick the spoon.

 How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado's number.

  What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.

 A small piece of ice which lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Bunsen! my flame! I melt whenever I see you" said the ice. The Bunsen burner replied :"It's just a phase you're going through".

A chemistry teacher was berating the students for not learning the Periodic Table of the Elements. She said "Why when I was your age I knew both their names and weights." One kid popped up, "Yeah, but teach, there were so few of them back then."

What do you get if you have Avogadro's number of donkeys? Molasses

A chemistry teacher one day decided to teach his class about the dangers of alcohol. He thought up a neat little experiment, and showed it to his class. He had two glass tumblers, one filled with clean water, and the other with whiskey. He placed a live worm in each glass. The worm in water was perfectly fine, however the worm which was dropped in whiskey died almost instantly. Rather pleased with the experiment, he decided to ask the class what they could deduce from it. The class were silent for several seconds, until one boy at the back called out: "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
 * Whiskey Worms**